Thursday, August 30, 2012

We have officially been back in school for one whole month. This means the so called craziness of what we call life has resumed in full force. In other words:
"Why don't you have shoes on? We are walking out of the house and I'm leaving NOW!"....
"Why do I need shoes?"

“Mom, I have NO more underwear left.”
"Mom, I left my lunch at home."

 “Hurry up and eat before we leave for practice.”

 “Where are your cleats? Where is your dance bag? HURRY UP WITH THAT HOMEWORK!
Did you practice piano?”

And my favorite: “DO we have ANY food in this house?”

Yes, this is what WE call life! The crazy thing is; I’m not sure I will ever get the hang of it. As crazy as most of those scenarios are, they are all true. Laundry seems like it has multiplied by 50 now that I have started working. I just never have time to keep up with it, and as soon as I do, there is MORE!!! 

I’m really not sure when there is ever time to go to the grocery store, I mean really; CEREAL for dinner???

I can’t tell you how many appointments I have forgotten or forgotten to even make; good grief!

I seriously need another me walking around reminding me what to do ALL day long. I am so very exhausted at the end of the day and so often I just don’t even know where to start when I do have 5 minutes to breathe.

The truth is; it’s killing me! I so want to be super mom. I want to be great at doing it all and be great at getting it all done and the reality is; I feel like I am miserably failing!

I want my family to be happy and I want my kids to love life, but I don’t want them to have a mom that never has it together.

Why is it that as a mom it becomes so easy and natural to feel like a failure when things go wrong? We place so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in all we do and we raise the bar so high that we can never obtain the perfection we are trying to reach.

I was half-heartedly tucking my sweet little boy into bed and he hugged me so tight he wouldn’t let go. I said good night and tried to pull away. I’m not sure I will ever forget his words…. “I’ll NEVER let go! I’ll love you FOREVER!” I sank into the bed beside him as tears filled my eyes. There was something about what he said that made me feel that Jesus was whispering those words in my ear. It was almost like He was using my sweet little boy to remind me that He was always there and He would never leave me, EVER!

Throughout all my imperfections and flaws, my Lord loves me just the same. I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to be super mom, and I never will! Now, am I going to have it all together by tomorrow, probably not, but I know that I am not alone. Jesus is there guiding me and reminding me that I can do this.

If we have cereal for dinner, well I don’t have to feel terrible because at least my family was able to eat. I have to learn to stop being so hard on myself and allow Jesus to help find a way and a plan to figure out this life that He has laid out for me.

I’ll NEVER let go! I’ll love Him FOREVER. He will Never let go. He will love you FOREVER!  Treasure the blessings God wants you to have….treasure the gifts and moments that often come through our children because the real truth is this;  I would not trade any of it for a moment of peace even if someone begged me :)

First Day of School 2012!!!


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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Faith to BELIEVE

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1: 5-6
Getting to the finish line was anything but easy. I guess there was a part of me that thought this journey would be easy; well, easier. I thought I would finish my degree, get a job, and start working. Boy was I wrong! I had no clue that my plan was no exactly what God had in mind.

          God needed me to wait….be patient…and listen. Do you know how hard that is? I have taken the teaching certification test many times, and was beginning to feel incapable of passing. I wanted to give up.

          I then begin to see that I was somewhat like a wave tossing in the ocean. The lack of faith in my own life was throwing me back and forth and all over the place. I was defeated because I felt defeated. I gave up. I forgot that even through the bumpy spots of the journey, God was still there. My vision was blurred to the reality of God’s goodness He had in store.

          Through the unknown paths and heartache, God reminded me to have faith. He reminded me that this was His plan and He would see me through.

          My journey to getting a job and becoming a teacher was not meant to be easy because I still had so much to learn.

          I learned that if I doubt God’s wisdom how can I accept that He has given it to me?  I learned that I can never give up and never stop believing that God has a plan for me.

          As I opened my e-mail this week and finally saw the words “PASSED” on my test, my eyes filled with tears as I praised God for His faithfulness. I know that I will get to teach in God’s timing and I know that my life is always in His hands!!!!

Praise God for the faith to believe!!!
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