Wednesday, February 22, 2012


I have not really blogged in a few weeks. I went from subbing to working full time and it has been a big adjustment. The truth is, I have so much on my mind and yet the words to express it just don't seem to be there.

I feel a little empty to tell the truth. I feel so lost and confused about where my life is going and all the new changes in my life. My new job is great and I feel so blessed that God has opened the door for a job and yet it is challenging. I already feel like I have made a million mistakes. I also know that mistakes allow you to grow, so; I'm trying to grow!

I still struggle with working full time. It just never seems like there are enough hours in the day. Church, cooking, cleaning, baseball, dance, bills, etc; when does it all get done?

I have been so hard on myself because I just can't seem to get it all together. I seem to fail daily! I tell myself to get up earlier to get stuff at home done, but my body is so beat that I just can't. I often wonder if I was cut out for this? How do other moms do it? I am beginning to think there really are a lot of real life super moms out there.

Working in pre-K, I am surrounded by 4 and 5 year olds all day long. I watch their carefree spirit and energy bounce throughout the day as if nothing else in the world mattered. They live day to day and moment to moment and I often find myself envious.

When did life get so complicated? So hard? Why can't it really be as carefree as children make it appear?

I find myself way too often feeling like I am dying just to get by and wondering what I am going to mess up next. I pray so often for God to get me through the day and yet maybe that is the problem.

I think I am praying for God to let me survive; get through the moment. Maybe there is more? In fact, I know there is more. God never intended for us to live a life just surviving and waiting to sink at any moment. He wants so much more for us. I think instead of praying to get by, I should be praying for guidance and wisdom. Wisdom to deal with the unexpected hard days that will always come and guidance to balance a schedule that seems impossible.

The impossible is only impossible when we do it alone. Change is hard, it always has been. I feel like I have lost friends, schedules, and a lot of time since I started working, but I never lost God. I have been a wife and mom for so long, that I often thought it was the only thing I was good at. I knew this transition would be hard, but I think I temporarily forgot that I am not alone.

 I never will be.

I am blessed beyond belief to work with amazing people and mentors daily. I know that God has great plans for me. It is time to let go and simply follow and trust that He will guide me in the right direction.

Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
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Monday, February 6, 2012

The Bully!

She turned and smiled as she looked in the mirror for one last check of perfection. She grabbed her bags and posed for mom to take a picture. The butterflies in her stomach were out of control, but the excitement was also a little too much to take!

It was the first day of middle school and it felt like she had waited for this day forever. There was just something about being in middle school that instantly made her feel older; more mature!

The hallways were crowed and the kids were all laughing and giggling with chatter. She instantly fit right in and made friends. Her bubbly personality was a huge hit.

Weeks and even months went by and she begin to see that first impressions only last so long. Friends began to turn on her and call her names; ugly names. She then quickly found herself in a deep woven web of drama, and somehow everyone was blaming her.

Her deep insecurities began to haunt her day after day. She only wanted to be liked and accepted. She wanted to run and hide, but she couldn't. Day after day she was verbally attacked or abused with cruel words.

Why do they hate me, she often wondered? Why won't they just leave me along? Why are some kids just so mean?

It wasn't long before administration was called and several girls were called to the office.

And yet has anything REALLY been done?!?! NO. 

Why is this such an issue in our schools today? In our society today?
Did she make the wrong friends? Did she try too hard?
She just wanted to feel loved, in fact; maybe they ALL just wanted to feel loved.
I think too often it is the bully who is really crying out for love and attention; acceptance!

Bulling is a poison seeping into our schools and crippling our children day by day. Children are terrorizing and belittling others simply to make themselves appear cool.

When does it stop? How does it stop?

It starts at home. We as parents have to step in and realize that our children our absorbing everything we say and do. They hear the way we speak and treat all those around us and are quick to mimic our actions; good AND bad.

God says we are to be slow to speak and slow to anger and yet we seem to be the opposite as a society.

Bulling comes in all shapes and sizes, and as quickly as an ugly comment about someone can spread, kindness can do the same.

I think it is time we learn to bite our tongue and speak with more kindness. Talk to our children about the affects of bulling and how to stand up for the right way.

We can truly be a nation to show love instead of hate, and it all starts with the words we speak.

Help our children make a difference. Put a stop to the bullies in our schools!
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19
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