Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Perfect "Imperfect" Christmas

‘Maybe Christmas’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store…maybe Christmas perhaps…means a little bit more!’” – Dr. Seuss

The anticipation of Christmas is almost too much too handle. I love everything about Christmas time; it is by far my favorite holiday of the year. There is just something about Christmas, a magic in the air; only problem, the magic seemed to be missing. From school work, work, kids, house and every other holiday party or performance in between, the magic seemed lost.

I was determined for this to be a perfect Christmas. Since I started working full time I can’t help but shake the feeling that my family has not had the best of me. I hate the feeling that I am always too tired or too busy or just not available for my kids lately. Feeling like a failure in my kids eyes is one of my worst nightmares and yet my nightmare seemed more like a reality on most days.

In the hustle and bustle the days seemed to slip away and December was half way over. I love getting a Christmas tree and decorating with my kids and yet, no tree, no excitement….no magic.

My heart sunk into my inner soul as we walked around and looked at the picked over and pathetic looking trees left. I could feel the tears in my eyes as my perfect Christmas seemed to be slipping away.

We took the only tree available and took it home. We decorated it and prayed the poor little branches would open up and look more full, but yet, the more the tree relaxed the sadder it looked. I empathized with myself by saying it did not really matter. If we just turned the lights on and let them shine bright then no would notice.

The truth was, my tree was not at all what I had imagined, in fact; nothing was! The more I tried to make Christmas perfect, the more I seemed to fail. The Christmas I imagined was lost in the reality of everyday life. Christmas was a complete loss; or so I thought.

I began to realize how much I resembled my poor little tree. I so often am hopeless and pathetic to all of those around me. I feel lost and alone and yet it takes a Savior who loves me unconditionally to shine a light into my life and take the insecurities away.  

Christ put that light back in my heart. He reminded me that it’s not about the hustle or bustle and it is not about the perfect Christmas, it is ALL about Jesus. I was reminded that God gave the ultimate gift all of those years ago and that gift was so much more than perfection. It was love, dedication and sacrifice.

As I sat around and enjoyed every second of today, I remembered the love I have for my children. A love that is not about perfection, but a love that is imperfectly perfect in every way! Through the imperfection and letting go of the visions I had for the perfect Christmas, I began to see that everything I needed was sitting right in the same room with me.
Christmas is not about the glitz and glamour or the perfect Christmas tree. It is so much more!

When I see the blessings surrounding me I realize that life could not be any more perfect….Count your blessings…count them one by one…they just might be imperfectly PERFECT!

Merry Christmas 2013

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Thursday, April 11, 2013

Letting Go...

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

Have you ever felt like your life was slipping away and every moment you are living you are fighting just to breathe? Obstacles become too big, situations spiral out of control and life takes a drastic shift into overdrive!

Finances, jobs, marriage, secrets, children, addiction, death, pick your poison; they seep into your soul and take your feet out from under you. You are often left breathless while chasing yourself for some sense of normalcy in world that too often seems flipped upside down.

We like to say that God is in control and yet forget to follow up with faith in believing He truly is. We seek, search and plead for His help and yet still take control as though we can handle it all. We show the world our battle is ours and we can control it, and yet we fight a fight that so often leaves us soaking in our sorrows, lost and alone.

The truth is, we will always feel alone and lost when we attempt to conquer the world or life on our own. I know I land on my face almost daily and yet Christ loves me enough to not let my stay there. He picks me up and leads my battle into His hands.

So often I claim to have it all together. I play the game of owning control and grace to be perfect in an imperfect life and world. The problem with acting as though life is perfect is that it always seems to land me back on my face before the Lord crying for Him to take over, take control and guide me.

I am so often reminded through life that I can’t do it without Him and I don’t want to. No battle is too big for God, but any battle is too big for me alone.

I want him to show up and take control. I want Him to steal the light or pride standing in my way of seeking Him. All eyes on Him. I want Him to take my heart, my life, my dreams and expectation and magnify it to His glory.

The show is all about Him and through any poison seeping into your life, He can and will take control.

Give Him control to steal the show!

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013


I think it is pretty safe to say that my life has a crazy level of stress. I have three kids, a husband, a full time job, church, piano practices, baseball, soccer, dance, and a whirlwind of appointments that always find a way of creeping in.

There are so many days when I really feel like I might explode. There are moments I pray I actually make it to the end of the day with some sense of sanity left.

Most days I am exhausted; I mean really exhausted! I never knew my body could ache this much. I know I am getting old, but really?!?!

I have learned that just about E-V-E-R-Y night I need a little peace….I need to unwind. Taking a relaxing bath has become my unwind time. Some nights I literally might only get 5 minutes to soak, but there is just something about completely immersing my body into the hot water and just being for a few minutes that I can’t go without.

The other night as I was soaking in my bath and thinking of how blessed I was to be off my feet, God began to speak to me. What if I craved Him as much as I did my nightly bath? What if my day just could not end without just 5 minutes in His word, 5 minutes soaking up His love for me.

So often I feel like I find an excuse to not spend time in God’s word or to just stop for 5 minutes and thank God for all He is doing in my life, the good and crazy!

Life is stressful, but I can’t forget to let God be a part of every moment of my life. He needs to be the one I run to when I need to unwind. He will comfort, shield, and grant me the rest I need.

Let Him be your relaxation and soak up His love and grace. He is ready and waiting to pour the abundance of His love onto you and me today!
  "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

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Monday, January 28, 2013

A Birthday Surprise

A Birthday Surprise

In the blink of an eye your entire world can change forever...
In the blink of an eye a day goes by, a week, and then a year...
In the blink of an eye my baby girl became a teenager.
My entire world changed when she born. I was young, clueless and yet hopelessly in love with her the moment they placed her in my arms. She taught me how to be a mom, how to make a million mistakes and how to love unconditionally.
She has been free spirited and a burst of energy since the day she saw sunlight. She has a smile that entices others to draw closer. She is a born leader and has more personality then I can keep up with.
We have gone from make believe and dress up to make up and life lessons I wish she didn't have to learn.
She amazes me with her growth and desire to be a stronger Christian every day. I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming.
Her thirteenth birthday has been one she has looked forward to well; since she was two I think! I wanted it to be perfect for her. Her birthday was on a Friday which made a surprise party just perfect! Daddy picked her up from school to spend some special birthday bonding time together...AKA: Get her out of the house so I could DECORATE!!!
I got the house ready and her friends arrived. Everything was PERFECT! Right down to her walking in the front door and throwing pop-corn everywhere as everyone shouted S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E!
IT WAS PRICELESS! All the planning and praying everything would come together was totally worth that moment and the look of pure joy on her face!
It was a night of laughter and fun I pray she will always remember...
Happy 13th Birthday to my sweet and special daughter....Kayla!

                                       Great Friends
A Birthday Banner: A picture of every year from Birth to 13!
                                        Cupcake stand

                                       Yummy Treats
Her flowers from Dad! He gave her flowers for the first time at age four and has every year since on her birthday!
                                        More Yummy Treats!

Check back later in the week for more pics from the activities that took places during the party.....

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