Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Perfect "Imperfect" Christmas

‘Maybe Christmas’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store…maybe Christmas perhaps…means a little bit more!’” – Dr. Seuss

The anticipation of Christmas is almost too much too handle. I love everything about Christmas time; it is by far my favorite holiday of the year. There is just something about Christmas, a magic in the air; only problem, the magic seemed to be missing. From school work, work, kids, house and every other holiday party or performance in between, the magic seemed lost.

I was determined for this to be a perfect Christmas. Since I started working full time I can’t help but shake the feeling that my family has not had the best of me. I hate the feeling that I am always too tired or too busy or just not available for my kids lately. Feeling like a failure in my kids eyes is one of my worst nightmares and yet my nightmare seemed more like a reality on most days.

In the hustle and bustle the days seemed to slip away and December was half way over. I love getting a Christmas tree and decorating with my kids and yet, no tree, no excitement….no magic.

My heart sunk into my inner soul as we walked around and looked at the picked over and pathetic looking trees left. I could feel the tears in my eyes as my perfect Christmas seemed to be slipping away.

We took the only tree available and took it home. We decorated it and prayed the poor little branches would open up and look more full, but yet, the more the tree relaxed the sadder it looked. I empathized with myself by saying it did not really matter. If we just turned the lights on and let them shine bright then no would notice.

The truth was, my tree was not at all what I had imagined, in fact; nothing was! The more I tried to make Christmas perfect, the more I seemed to fail. The Christmas I imagined was lost in the reality of everyday life. Christmas was a complete loss; or so I thought.

I began to realize how much I resembled my poor little tree. I so often am hopeless and pathetic to all of those around me. I feel lost and alone and yet it takes a Savior who loves me unconditionally to shine a light into my life and take the insecurities away.  

Christ put that light back in my heart. He reminded me that it’s not about the hustle or bustle and it is not about the perfect Christmas, it is ALL about Jesus. I was reminded that God gave the ultimate gift all of those years ago and that gift was so much more than perfection. It was love, dedication and sacrifice.

As I sat around and enjoyed every second of today, I remembered the love I have for my children. A love that is not about perfection, but a love that is imperfectly perfect in every way! Through the imperfection and letting go of the visions I had for the perfect Christmas, I began to see that everything I needed was sitting right in the same room with me.
Christmas is not about the glitz and glamour or the perfect Christmas tree. It is so much more!

When I see the blessings surrounding me I realize that life could not be any more perfect….Count your blessings…count them one by one…they just might be imperfectly PERFECT!

Merry Christmas 2013

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