‘Maybe Christmas’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a
store…maybe Christmas perhaps…means a little bit more!’” – Dr. Seuss
The anticipation of Christmas is almost too much too handle.
I love everything about Christmas time; it is by far my favorite holiday of the
year. There is just something about Christmas, a magic in the air; only
problem, the magic seemed to be missing. From school work, work, kids, house
and every other holiday party or performance in between, the magic seemed lost.
I was determined for this to be a perfect Christmas. Since I
started working full time I can’t help but shake the feeling that my family has
not had the best of me. I hate the feeling that I am always too tired or too
busy or just not available for my kids lately. Feeling like a failure in my
kids eyes is one of my worst nightmares and yet my nightmare seemed more like a
reality on most days.
In the hustle and bustle the days seemed to slip away and
December was half way over. I love getting a Christmas tree and decorating with
my kids and yet, no tree, no excitement….no magic.
My heart sunk into my inner soul as we walked around and
looked at the picked over and pathetic looking trees left. I could feel the
tears in my eyes as my perfect Christmas seemed to be slipping away.
We took the only tree available and took it home. We
decorated it and prayed the poor little branches would open up and look more
full, but yet, the more the tree relaxed the sadder it looked. I empathized
with myself by saying it did not really matter. If we just turned the lights on
and let them shine bright then no would notice.
The truth was, my tree was not at all what I had imagined,
in fact; nothing was! The more I tried to make Christmas perfect, the more I
seemed to fail. The Christmas I imagined was lost in the reality of everyday life.
Christmas was a complete loss; or so I thought.
I began to realize how much I resembled my poor little tree.
I so often am hopeless and pathetic to all of those around me. I feel lost and
alone and yet it takes a Savior who loves me unconditionally to shine a light
into my life and take the insecurities away.
Christ put that light back in my heart. He reminded me that
it’s not about the hustle or bustle and it is not about the perfect Christmas,
it is ALL about Jesus. I was reminded that God gave the ultimate gift all of
those years ago and that gift was so much more than perfection. It was love,
dedication and sacrifice.
As I sat around and enjoyed every second of today, I
remembered the love I have for my children. A love that is not about
perfection, but a love that is imperfectly perfect in every way! Through the
imperfection and letting go of the visions I had for the perfect Christmas, I
began to see that everything I needed was sitting right in the same room with
me.
Christmas is not about the glitz and glamour or the perfect
Christmas tree. It is so much more!
When I see the blessings surrounding me I realize that life
could not be any more perfect….Count your blessings…count them one by one…they
just might be imperfectly PERFECT!
Merry Christmas 2013
