Wednesday, July 20, 2016

But WHY God?

There was once a girl who dreamed of a big family.   A family where kids ran around with laughter and giggles and warmth filled the entire home. Love would radiate from the inside out. The husband would adore his wife with such adoration and life would be invincible.

This dream seemed so obtainable, so possible. This young and naive little girl lived in a world, where although she knew heartache existed, she believed that love could overcome anything.

The dream quickly faded when this girl too quickly grew up and realized that we are not as invincible as she had hoped.

Heartache gives no warning and too often no reason. Pain comes like a thief in the night to steal our joy and cripple our entire world.

You see, we want to be invincible. We want to believe it would never happen to us. The broken friendship, failing marriage, rebellious children or the life gone too soon.

The heartache happens and we are often left standing with the questions and brokenness and nothing seems to make sense.

We cling to the why. We need to know why. If we knew why something had happen or gone wrong then somehow and someway it would make us feel better, give us a reason to understand.

I can remember waiting for days, weeks after Bethany had died for her autopsy report. I needed and craved the answers to her death. I begged God to help me understand why my little girl had to die. The phone rang and my heart was not prepared to hear what I heard…

“The results where normal. Nothing was wrong. It was simply a sudden death.”

I was angry and mad. That was not good enough. I needed more. I could deal with a birth defect, I could understand that my daughter was sick, but to take her for no reason. This I did not understand.

For weeks I became bitter and even angrier with God. I had nothing to cling to anymore, no reason to heal or move on.

Over time God began to tug on my heart. Pulling me closer and closer. I soon began to see that my story was not over. I would never get the answer to why she had to go, but yet, I would see her again. This world is not my forever home.

God had to teach me that it is not always about why something has happened, but about what is going to happen. The heartache we go through can destroy us literally from the inside out. We have to make the choice to believe that it does not define us and our story is not over.

I still believe that love can overcome anything, and even more so when that love comes from a God who promises to turn our sorrows into joy. What will tomorrow hold? Bitterness and anger or hope for a better tomorrow. 

The Lord says, “Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it? Isaiah 43:18-19
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