Happy Birthday Kayla



The moment she was born, my world changed forever. I went from being a teenager who knew nothing about life, to a new mother with a precious life depending on me.

I had anticipated her birth for months; dreading it in fact. I had so many fears and doubts of my ability to raise this helpless little baby. I didn't think I could do it; I thought for sure I couldn't!

She was so quite the moment she was born. They wrapped her tight and placed her in my arms. She had big bright blue eyes glaring at her new surroundings. I looked into her little face and I could not believe she was mine.

They took her to the nursery to give her a bath and have the doctor check her out. Brad came back to my room and before he even said a word, I knew something was wrong with my baby.

We rushed to the nursery and there she was, helpless and hooked up to an IV and oxygen. My heart stopped and the tears streamed from my eyes. It was not until that moment that I knew I could love her that much.

She had a bad case of infant pneumonia and had to stay in the hospital for 7 days. I can still remember how Brad and I spent our first week with Kayla sleeping on waiting room couches because I would not leave the hospital.

I realized that week that all fear was gone and I was the one God allowed to be her mother. Through good and bad, I was going to be there for her.

I can't believe that it has been 12 years since that day. My angelical little baby girl has turned into a beautiful, strong-willed, dramatic yet oh so loving young lady!  

I can't even begin to tell you how many compliments I get on Kayla's behavior when she is away from family. I am so proud to have raised a daughter that really understands how to treat people even when mom and dad are not around.

She is beautiful and talented beyond belief. She is growing and diving more and more into God's word every day.

Kayla challenges me everyday to be a better mother and a better person. She keeps me on my toes and on my knees, but I can't imagine my life without her!

I am so excited to continue to watch her develop into what God has in store for her.

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY MY SWEET GIRL!!!

Break IN or NOT???

The whole street had a dark yet creepy glow. Of all nights the street light was out and I think my insanity went with it.

My head had been throbbing all night. I had just spent the night in a room with five year olds and fresh paint on the wall; yep, sanity was gone!

All three of my overly excited children were trying to tell my about their night as I pulled into our strangely dark neighborhood. I hit the garage door opener and realized I was closing the garage...I had that moment of...did I leave the garage open???

We got out of the car and walked into the garage only to find that door locked; THAT door is never locked at night! UGH!

I scrimmaged for my keys as we headed through the dark to the front door, only for my body to freeze and my heart to stop as I went to put the key in the door.  

IT WAS ALLREADY STANDING WIDE OPEN....and it was pitch black inside.........................

GET...IN...THE...CAR...NOW! I SCREAMED!

I pulled out of the driveway and drove off like I was a bat. My heart was racing as I sat at the end of the street trying to process what was going on.

As I called 911, I couldn't escape the fact that I felt like my neighborhood  was in the twilight zone. It was never this dark...I HATE the DARK!

I felt somewhat like an idiot as I told the lady on the phone that after thinking it through, I was 99.9% sure that we left in such a hurry earlier in the evening, that one of my kids left the door open, BUT, my husband was not home and I was NOT going in that house!

I then had that next fleeting thought; Why do crazy things ALWAYS happen when Brad goes out of town?

Two police men arrived and parked next door as they pulled up with NO lights on. My daughter was going somewhat crazy with fear and my boys began to think they were watching a real life mystery unfold.

They put on gloves, grabbed their flashlights and placed one hand on their gun before entering the house.....I was slightly scared, my daughter was well; under the seat, and my boys were glued to the door in excitement.

We watched as they went in and out of every room in our house until finally every light came on. The officer came out and told me it looked fine, but he needed me to come in to make sure. I told him I was so sorry and that one of my kids probably left the door open, but I had to be sure. He told me I did the right thing. He said that there are way too many robberies to take any chances.

Well, I only thought this was over...OH NO!

We walk inside and I remembered......I remembered what I was doing before we had gone to church. I had decided to clean out my refrigerator; EVERYTHING in my refrigerator was on my kitchen counter.

He looked at me and said, "Did you leave it like this?"

With a red face I said, "Yes Sir."

We had also left in such a hurry that my makeup, curlers, and everything was still out in my bathroom as well as my dresser drawers OPEN....

OH YES, he then asked. "Did you leave all these drawers open?"

I this point I really wanted to just say, NO, someone came in here and left all the expensive stuff, but took everything out of my refrigerator and ransacked my bedroom!

Only the logical answer was, "Yes sir. I'm sorry we look like pigs and some crazy dysfunctional family, I promise we don't live like this!"

As they left, I'm sure you can guess that we had a talk about DOUBLE checking the front door as you leave!!!

OH, and I guess I will be cleaning the left over MESS off the counter from the mess the sooo called robber left after cleaning out my refrigerator....

To Be NEW!

The crinkle the paper makes as you cling it tightly with anticipation...

The smell of a new bag...

The way the perfect pair of jeans fit fresh out of the store...

The smile on a child's face as they tear into the present they have been dying, yes dying to have for months...

There is just something about having a NEW "toy"  that makes us gleam with excitement. We often save, plea and bargain our way to even get this new gift until the excitement is simply overwhelming.

At first, our new gift is our biggest treasure. We use it and take it everywhere, often guarding it with every precaution. However, like children playing with new toys, the newness begins to wear down.

We become less cautious and often carless as our now "old" gift becomes entangled with our many other treasures. Our gift becomes trapped and lost within clutter and chaos. We lose all pride in the "newness" the gift once brought.

We allow it to become broken, trampled, and placed in no importance in our life.

Was this gift important?

What if this gift mattered?

What if this gift was your SALVATION????

As new Christians we are often eager and excited to learn and absorb all there is to know about the word and Jesus Christ. We soak in every word as if it were our only hope.

As time goes on, I think we get too comfortable. We become complacent in all we do. We feel as though we are past that early stage, we are set in church....and we think we are golden.

The truth is, we are not golden, we are complacent!

The newness has worn off and we forget why we are here in the first place. It is not about us. Yes, we should always be striving to learn more and grow more as Christians, but at some point it is about what we can do for Christ; not ourselves.

We allow our Salvation to be broken, trampled and lost in our lives because we let "life" get in the way. We get hurt and trampled by this world and way too often forget that God is more powerful than any storm that may come our way.

Life happens, but God happened FIRST!  Don't let the newness of your Salvation fade away. It is the one gift the has no shelve life and never needs to be lost in the chaos of life.

Remember, we are here to show others that what you say and do does matter because it glorifies the Lord.

Glorify the Lord in all you say and do today because you are blessed with the gift of Salvation; don't waist it!

Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Happy New Year

I mother holds her newborn baby and gently cuddles them to sleep. She kisses each boo-boo and wipes away the tears when they fall.

She cleans and nurses and cooks and attempts to keep it all together. She holds her children tight when they are sick or when they just need that extra hug.

Being a mother is by far the greatest and best reward I have ever been given. I often remember the nights I would sit and just rock my children when they were babies and I loved feeling as if I was their comfort.

As the year ends, I can't help but look at the past year and all my children have done and continue to do.

They grow up more and more each year and become more and more independent with every step they take. I so often imagine what life would be like with our Bethany  here and how different it would be. I then realize that  it has been 2 1/2 years and it blows my mind.

I can't imagine my life without her and yet I'm not sure what it would be like with her either. As each new year begins I realize that with Christ I never would have made it. Just as I hold my children tight, kiss them and comfort them, Christ does the same for me. He has held my hand and continues to lead me into each new year no matter what journey may come.

My worst nightmare already came true, but I will not live in fear. I face tomorrow knowing that my Lord holds me tight no matter what this new year may hold. Some days may seem impossible, but fall into the arms of Christ and see that He can turn the impossible into POSSIBLE and the dark into light!

I love the way He holds me tight. I love the way He leads me. I love the way He never lets go and I love that I never have to wonder....

I never have to wonder if He will love me forever. I never have to wonder if He will be there tomorrow. I never have to wonder if I will be alone...I am Forever HIS....I am forever and Eternally Blessed!

Happy New Year

I heard this song and it is just perfect.....