I
was ready....I was prepared! Or so I thought...
Exactly
this time three years ago, I can still remember anxiously roaming about hoping
I would go into labor.
My
body was more than ready and I felt prepared. The nursery was ready, clothes
washed and my hospital bag was packed.
I
can remember thinking that the 37 weeks I had been pregnant had flown by and
yet as I set and waited on her to come, the clock stood still!
I
would sit and hold my stomach as it would rumble back and forth from the gentle
rocking of her little hick ups. I felt huge and uncomfortable. I had not been
sleeping very well and I just knew that was God's way of preparing me for many
sleepless nights with a newborn....
He
was preparing me, but not for what I thought. I thought I was ready, prepared.
I thought I had left no stone unturned, only I forgot to prepare one thing; my
heart!
I
never prepared my heart for what was going to happen in my life and how God was
going to use it.
I'm
not saying I should have prepared my heart for something bad to happen, only
that we should always be in prayer for God's will in our life, good or bad.
When
Bethany died, I never imagined my heart could break so deeply and yet I also
never imagined it could live again. I was so hurt, I let myself forget what a
big God I serve and that nothing is ever too big for HIM!
A
soldier would never go into battle unprepared and yet we as Christians often go
into life DAILY without preparing our heart to give 100% control to God no matter
what may come.
Should
we live in fear; never, but we should live knowing that God is in control;
ALWAYS!
As
Bethany's birthday fast approaches, I find myself missing her and loving her,
but most of all, standing in awe of God's amazing grace to pull me through the
darkest valley of my life.
Is your
heart prepared to give God control no matter what your day may bring?
Amy,
ReplyDeleteYou guys will be in my thoughts and prayers in the next few days. I can't imagine your pain but I am here for you. You and your family are so precious to me and I am so thankful that God helped us find each other.
With Love,
Christy
Oh Amy I am so sorry sweet Bethany could not stay. This is a wonderful post and so very true I am not prepared so many times. I would love if you would link this on the bereaved mommies link up today. http://www.teshastreasures.com/ I am saying a prayer for you. I can imagine that birthdays are hard, I have not reached that point yet. Your love and trust in the Lord is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThis was so beautiful. I have definitely had to learn to put my whole faith and trust in Gods hands. I have also learned the lesson of God's Will and not mine.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family at this time ((Hugs))
Thinking of you as Bethany's birthday approaches... love to you both xo
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about you the other day but never got around to sending a message. I remember Bethany's birth date because that was my Henry's due date. You are such a strong woman. Although I wish your little one was with you now, its her short life, your strength, her story that helped me so much this past year. God does have a purpose for our angels, even if we can't understand it fully!
ReplyDeleteControl is an illusion and nothing we can "give" anyways. Its nothing but faith we have to have and the ability to see there is no control to begin with. I am still SO LOST in this area of faith. So so lost.
ReplyDelete♥♥ hugs
ReplyDelete