Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Crisis Mode

I guess you could say that my hospital stay was anything but pleasant, eventful yes, pleasant; no! I did not sleep much the night before surgery, I guess you could say my mind was a little frazzled. The got me into a room rather quickly and began the pre-op regimen. You know; IV, blood pressure, hospital bracelet, and a million questions. I honestly felt like I was on trial.

It was not long before I was rolled into the hallway and we were on our way. The doctor asked me how old my little boy was.  Brayson had come to love on me before surgery, I answered and that was the last thing I remember. I don’t even know when he gave me something to knock me out. Sneaky, Scary!

I was then curled up in a ball in agonizing pain looking at a nurse and asking why my stomach hurt so bad. Like I was crazy, she looked up at me and said, “Honey, you just had surgery.”

“I did?”… I was confused, shocked, and in some serious pain. It was over, just like that I went from a hallway to a recovery room and the healing could begin…or so I thought.

I believe they gave me some pretty good pain killers in recovery, because I only vaguely remember making it to my room and then sleeping for several hours. Once I woke up my moments of sleep and pain relief were gone. 

The rest of the day I hurt, I prayed for relief. The day came and went. My nurse promised me I would rest well that night, my body had been through so much.

Well, due to some miscommunication and a nurse error, my night was horrific!
Imagine this:

A very full bladder, gauze inside your body to stop the bleeding, and NOT being able to use the restroom. I am really not sure there is a word to describe the amount of pain I felt. I cried out in tears, sobbing for relief, praying for help, and yet nothing.  I felt as though I might explode…it really was horrific.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours. I was exhausted. My hands clung to the side of my bed and my heart cried out to Jesus. I prayed for help in desperation. I prayed for Him to relieve the pain, I prayed for rest.

Psalm 62:1-2 “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”

As I sat there I began to really question and think. Why do we have to hit our potential rock bottom before we cry out to the Lord?  Do we really have to hit crisis mode to realize we actually need Him that much.

I began to question my daily walk with Christ. Can you just imagine how magnificent our spiritual walk would be if we had the same passion we do in a crisis mode in everyday life?

WOW. It really made me thankful. Thankful for a God that loves me enough to rescue me in the moments of need and yet love me through the everyday as well.

My goal, my desire is to crave such a passion for Jesus Christ that I want to cry out for Him daily; crisis or not.

Pain is only temporary and this too will pass. My faith and trust in Jesus Christ is forever! I am FOREVER blessed. 
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