"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his sholder; and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace".
The stockings are hung, Santa has come. The children are gleaming and snow is falling. Laughter and excitement fill the air and Joy surrounds me as I sit in awe as Christmas begins to unravel in our house. I always seem to have butterflies in my stomach as I get so excited to see the joy and excitement as my children open each gift with anticipation and hoping its that special gift they put on their Christmas list to Santa. My children will bring their father and I our gifts, but mine slowly just pile up beside me because I just can't stop watching them! This Christmas we are at my mothers house with my siblings and their children. As I am sitting and watching my children and their cousins opening gifts, I can help but let my mind think of my sweet Bethany. My heart begins to miss her and feel sad that she is not here and can not be part of the excitement. I imagine her walking by now and how much fun she would have opening presents with everyone. I can feel the tears starting to come so I decide to open two of my presents, one from my husband and one from my children. My children rush over with excitement as I start to open their gift. As I pull out the ornament from the beautiful red box the tears I was so desperately fighting begin to uncontrollably stream from my face. The children (with help from their father) had an angel ornament made for me with the following words engraved:
7 lbs 3 oz 21 in
May 3, 2009
Our Angel Above
It was the most thoughtful gift and I LOVED it. Well I then went on to open my husbands gift. He read the words to a beautiful song at Bethany's luncheon our church gave us the day of her funeral. He had the words put onto a plaque and then it said, from your father. It made my Christmas! My mother also gave me a beautiful hope chest to store all of Bethany's things from the hospital and from the day she was born. I really felt like she was part of our Christmas. I learned today that I am sure Christmas will always be a little hard for me. There will always be that part of me that will desire for her to be here, but God had other plans and at the end of the today I am blessed. No, I do not get to have her here, but I did get to see the joy and excitement on my other children's faces as they opened their gifts. I got to celebrate the birth of a Savior that has saved me from so many dark days and still pulls me through even in moments like today. My baby is not here with me today, but I will see her again because of a little baby born in a manger so many years ago. Praise God for sending his Son to give us a Christmas in the first place. Without Him, I would not be here to hurt in the first place, and He gladly takes that hurt away and replaces it with love, laughter and peace! Merry Christmas!