Alone

Isaiah 30:15 "Thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, ‘In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.'"

School has started and for the first time in eleven years I find myself alone and lost. For the past eleven years I have been blessed to be at home with my children. They needed me. I have watched children in my home so that I could help out financial, but I was still able to be at home with my children; loving them, nurturing them, guiding them.

Today my house is quite. There are no little ones running through the house laughing. There is no one who needs me to get them a drink or kiss a boo-boo. There is simply a stillness, a silence saturating the entire house while I sit lost, wondering where my next step is supposed to be.

I think the hardest thing about sitting alone in a quite house is that I thought I would be working. I finished my degree and I am ready for this transition in my life, and yet nothing. I can't even start subbing because of some delays with the school system. I feel so helpless.

I went walking this morning and I spent a lot of time praying. I kept thinking about a bible verse I had read this morning. It said, In quietness and trust is your strength. I really had to think about these words. So many times I feel like I am so busy wondering what the next step is going to be that I forget to just stop and wait upon God.

I realized, those words meant that when we simply stop asking God to fix all of our problems and stop worrying about what tomorrow may or may not bring, we can start trusting that God is going to take care of us IF we truly believe He can. If I keep wasting my time in fear that the right job might not come along then I am not trusting that God has a plan for my life.

I believe God has great plans for my life and this new transition I am in. I am going to soak in this alone time and listen to what God wants me to do because that is what will give me the strength to not worry about what tomorrow may or may not hold.

1st day of School

My Middle School Girl

My big Kindergarten boy

My fourth Grade little Man