Friday, February 4, 2011

Love Challenge

It’s been raining all week here. I woke early this morning and found myself just lying in bed listening to the rain hitting my window. I have always loved the sound of rain falling to the ground. I could sit and listen to it for hours; there is just something so peaceful about it.
            After putting my children on the bus this morning, I just stared in awe at the rain falling down around my house. I was taken back to the day of Bethany’s funeral. It was a very dark and rainy day. I remember thinking that all of creation was crying with us. I am pretty sure my tears alone could have produced the amount of rain we had that day.
            After the funereal, I came home and quietly slipped away into the darkness of my bed. I can remember the tears hitting my pillow as I listened to the rain falling and I drifted off to sleep. I think of how much pain I was in, and how no mother should have to go through that moment, and yet my heavenly father knows me so well and loves me so much. I have always loved falling asleep to the sound of the rain, and I believe that my heavenly father sent the rain to me that day to gently cradle me to sleep just as a mother cradles her anxious newborn to sleep.
            It simply amazes me that in my darkest hour, my heavenly father not only took care of my every need, but he knew my heart and how to take care of me when I was too weak to take care of myself.
            As many other bloggers are focusing on love this month, I can’t help but think that God’s Love for me in this moment was a love I could not touch, see, or understand at the moment, but it was a love that knew my inner being like no other. It was a love that got me through one of the hardest moments in my life. It was a love that knew exactly what I needed before I could even express my need.
            I think of this sacrificial love that Christ gives us, and I wonder how often we give this to others? I have really been learning to look at me and how this whole experience has changed me. Thanks to a friend of mine, I recently came across a new blog. She is challenging women to make their marriage a priority and make their spouse feel like they are important to them.
            I love this challenge, because it really made me think. I love my children and I love my husband, but since I lost my daughter I feel like so much has been about me and my healing; what about my family? I think it is time I started to make my husband a priority in my life again. It is time I started to love sacrificially the same way Christ loved me and still does.
            To check out this blog and this challenge:
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  1. thank you for your comment :)

    isn't courtney's blog beautiful! thanks for sharing this post - i cannot imagine how much hurt you have been through.

  2. I just love this post..thank you for reminding me that my husband and other children deserve to be a priority again..You are so right in that this last year has been almost all about me and Aubree..learning to live without her..they have to learn to live without her too..

  3. What a sweet and beautiful post! That is a terrific reminder. Thank you for sharing!

  4. This is a very nice post. I think it's important for us as mothers to think about other children if we have them and how they are grieving too. Our poor husbands often get left in the cold when a loss happens. They too need support and need encouragement. Thank you for applying love not only to ourselves but to others we love.

  5. Amy, I love reading your blog! you are truly my inspiration! i love how you lean on God for everything and that is how i want to be. i am slowly getting there and i know that God has sent you to me to guide me. everytime i read your stories i feel a little sense of peace for some reason. Thank you so much. you have no idea how much i admire you and your strength (:

  6. I just came across your blog while visiting Women Living Well. I am touched by your story and cried for your pain. I lost a baby 5 1/2 years ago and 12 weeks pregnant and still mourn that loss - I can only imagine how difficult that was at 37 weeks. Keep being strong!


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