Saturday, January 1, 2011

Use Me God, Maybe?

Use me God, but my puppet strings only go so far! I will control this part of my body and God can have the other half. As Christians, we are quick to say we want God to use us for his will and his glory but yet we attach so many stipulations to God. We often tell God he can use us but what we really mean is this:  God, use me to reach others, but only others in my church. God, I know you want me to share Christ with others, but if they can just see me living a Christian life then I will never actually have to talk to them. God, of course I will give to those less fortunate, but that man on the street is really not homeless, he just wants a hand out. God, I will share my story but only the good parts and not the dark valleys, their too embarrassing. We tell God we want him to use us and use our lives or our story for his glory and yet we all seem to have an excuse as to why we can’t step up to the plate when God presents an opportunity for us to serve him and allow him to use us. I come from a divorced family. My parents divorced when I was in the fifth grade. Unfortunately, this was never a pretty separation for our family. My siblings and I were all young, but old enough to understand that our family had fallen apart. Over the years anger and bitterness and even resentment began to arise in our family. Where there was once love there was now anger and hurt. Relationships slowly began to fall apart right before my eyes. It was heartbreaking. I watched as years and years went by with absolutely no communication between members of our family. I would cry and pray and beg God to reunite our family. I could never understand how God would allow this to happen to a family where everyone was Christians. I spent years trying to make peace in our family. Years trying to reconnect the members who stopped communicating. I can remember at the end of my pregnancy with my sweet Bethany Hope, a few of these members slowly made contact with one another. I can remember being so excited and once again praying for God to use me in any way he could to make this reunion happen and bring our family together again. Well, I have to say I am not so sure I was ready for how God was going to use me, or should I say my daughter. My family has all seen firsthand how short life can be through Bethany’s death. We all see that tomorrow may not come for a second chance. I just spent a week with a reunited family because I believe God used my daughter to heal my family and bring us all back together again, WOW….sometimes leaves me speechless. Are we really willing to let God use us if we say, “God use me!”
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1 comment:

  1. You got me crying honey. I've been there every step of the way and know how hard this must have been to write. You did it wonderfully!


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